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I have a question. I really want to know if I am dealing with a situation with my parents the right way. Recently I have decided to cut communication with my parents. Respectfully, I cannot be involved with them while they turn a blind eye to a situation involving my brother and my friend. I feel like my parents have not been supportive with my marriage relationship or my relationship with my children. I feel bad still, but have really prayed about this. If you could give me some words of wisdom? Thanks.
Submitted on Monday, March 26, 2012 | Comments (1) | Submit a Comment

 

Dear Respectfully Not Communicating,

Not knowing the situation with your brother and your friend, I obviously don't know the degree of offense we are discussing. However, I also find that we are not given conditional terms under which we are told to honor our father and mother.

Though it is one of the Ten Commandments, sometimes, this command is relegated to the Old Testament with modern day offspring stating they are no longer under the law. As you know, the Ten Commandments are referenced in the New Testament, lest we find ourselves excused from them. Case in point, Ephesians 6:2 which reads:

"Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Not only are we reminded of the command in the New Testament, we are reminded and/or informed that this is the first commandment with a promise.

Your dilemma depends on the definition of honoring. Does it mean condoning our parents' sin? No. Jesus himself did not condone sin. Does it mean finding a way to live a loving example around sinners? Yes. The question is, what does it mean to be a loving example among your family and specifically to honor your parents? This question I cannot answer. I can only tell you to sit before the Lord and ponder if your actions toward your parents are honoring or not.

It may help to rephrase some of your thoughts. Rather than, "I cannot" simply say, "I choose not to because..." this will help you discern if you truly cannot or if you simply have not applied yourself to finding a biblical way to interact with your parents without condoning ongoing sin in the family.

May His wisdom be upon you as you seek to have His truth and love flow through you.


Gracie